i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
