the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
