I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize