Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
