Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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