Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
