Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
