so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Randomize
