What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We need to get me chipped asap
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
