Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You are a genius and a whore.
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