He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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