His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
zippers are such a cool invention
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize