OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
