So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
