I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
