Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
