you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
