we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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