We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
