i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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