He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
