sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize