this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
