bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Lo siento on account of my penis...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
