Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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