Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
