Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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