Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She bit a glass in half.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
