I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
