Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You are a genius and a whore.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
