I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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