my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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