There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
