Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
