we have officially lost it.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
