Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
