this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
