i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
