I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I FOUND THE LEGS
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
