Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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