i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
