He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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