I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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