Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
