it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize