would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm always down for nudity.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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