i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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