I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
