We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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