whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
