How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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