Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
