I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
