You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
