I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize