you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
