there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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