I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
