Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
