long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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