she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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