This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I think people are normalizing furries
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
