Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
